Balancing Happiness & Sadness

I found myself getting frustrated..
The fact that I don't know if I'm doing enough. Am I really fighting this thing? Or am I just doing nothing and giving into Anna? How do I know if I'm making progress? I asked one of my "stars".. Diann.... "am I doing enough and am I fighting this thing?

I was getting worried about this, because of the way my mood was the last few weeks. As my mam said "Her mood is just Black". Okay, fair enough, I was depression on legs (or depression on twigs in my case). I felt like I was giving into this disease, because I was feeling so down and depressed. I thought, that I had brought it all on myself.. and felt like I was going down the whole "self-pity road". I had convinced myself that if I would just turn this depressed mood around, I could get over Anna, and I would be fine, But I wasn't and therefore it's all my own doing.

Why was I beating myself up so much?
Well, I am, usually a big believer in turning your mood around.. because a person (someone in a strong BODY and MIND) can influence their own mood, or you can give into it, which brings you down even more. If you get up in the morning, and think to yourself, "this is all going to go wrong", or "today is going to be shit", then it will turn out that way. I usually believe this. So I felt like I wasn't doing anything good with this whole battle and that I wasn't really getting anywhere, except for drowning in self-pity.

It caused so much frustration..
But after much discussion and info, I've been assured that this is not the case. Feeling the way I have been feeling (down, low, depressed and black) is all a part of it. It's a sign that you are going through the motions and dealing with it, and realizing that it's happening.
Being in a state of depression caused by losing something or someone or caused by an illness (which is different than a "depression in the genes" as Diann put it), makes us realize what happiness and sadness really is. It's not possible for somebody who has never felt low or felt sad, to know what happiness feels like. To them, it's just a state of being. They can't appreciate when good things come their way, because that's the way it's always been. Whereas if you have felt true sadness, life becomes so much more worthwhile, everything becomes balanced, everything is cherished, everything is for a reason.

Appreciating the feeling of happiness, follows those times of sadness. And thats when we realize that life is precious and beautiful.