I'm sick and tired of people fussing around me. Thinking.. "what kind of mood is niamh in today..".. Who cares, just leave me alone, I'm tired of analyzing how I feel, it's draining me, and I don't want to anymore.
I don't want to be polite when I'm not wanting to.
I'm feeling like a heap of crap right now.. Just let me be.
And everyone with "my best interests at heart".. It's all too much.
What am I supposed to do with it all? Everybody only makes me feel like an invalid.
And I cannot be expected to constantly take every good gesture on board, and see this all positive.. I cannot do it, it too tiring and too much.. And then I feel like a massive cow, being ungrateful.. and I then feel pressure to be nice when I feel so so bad. And it's wearing me out. Some days I just DON'T want to cope. Just let me be.
I got up this morning, and felt full and gross. When you go out to dinner the night before and you overindulge, you eat crap and lots of it, and the next morning you still feel full? That's how I've been feeling the past few mornings, since I started having 3 supplements a day. How do you reckon that makes me feel? On top of the world? I really do not think so. I makes me feel like a fat pig. This morning I seen a fat pig in the mirror. Wasn't too pleasant I can tell you.. gross.
So, feeling like a pig, I have to make myself feel even shittier, by eating more and more.. and it's constant. Stuffing my face all the time, constantly.
When has that ever made anybody on this planet feel good about themselves? Never I reckon. Everybody feels like a heap a sh*t whenever they stuff their faces..So do I. And I know, whoever reads this post, is thinking..yeah, this is Anna..blablabla.. I know that it's Anna, but JUST LET ME BE AND LET ME TYPE WHATEVER I WANT AND LET ME FEEL WHATEVER I WANT!!!
I'm only human.. I don't have super powers.. I'm not able to constantly feel upbeat and open for support.. It's so hard. And tiring and draining..
Stop trying to figure out where I'm coming from, because I don't even know.
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