The Witch in the Hotpress

Yesterday, Saturday, a tiring day with emotions that I thought I wasn't able to handle.

It was so much, I didn't know where to start. I knew I should have just focused on my meals, and on getting my food and saving my energy. But I just couldn't seem to ignore all the stuff going around in my head. I wanted to, but it was too much. And I really hadn't a clue what to do.
Even writing didn't help..

On Friday, my auntie Ann, paid me a visit. She brought me up a "present". She brought me up an ugly looking doll, it was a frog dressed as a witch.. Not a pretty sight. She asked me if she resembles someone that I know. And all of a sudden, I knew what she meant. It was Anna. She had brought me Anna. "Why?" I hear yourself ask.. Well, I can torture her, I can beat her and treat her like a heap of sh*t to make her feel like a she makes me feel.. She also brought me up a small little angle.. And she resembles Fay. She's beautiful. She's small, because she still has a lot of growing to do.

So, back to yesterday..
I sat here, nearly breaking the keyboard, didn't want anyone to know how bad I was feeling, I was sick of being a grumpy cow and sick of being me.. Then I knew what to do.. I went upstairs, with Anna, shut myself away in the bedroom and I just went mad. I tore her clothes, I tried to rip her to shreds, I stabbed her, I threw her around the room, using all my strength, until I broke down. Until it was all out. Until I felt like I had made her feel just as bad as she was making me feel at that moment.

I was then exhausted and just lay on the bed.. Not knowing what to think or feel.. not knowing how I got myself in this awful state of mind and how I got to feeling so bad. Would it ever go away?

I can't think about that the answer to that question right now.. it's too scary.
But all I can say, is that I did something good with my anger, aggression and frustration yesterday. And I am forever grateful, Ann, for giving me this solution..
Yesterday, you were my star, and saved my day..
Anna, is presently, in the hot press in a black sack.. until she pushes my buttons again..