Some background information

When I was with Diann on Monday, she passed a comment about the history of Anorexia. I think she related it to me trying to answer my all-time favorite question: "Was this meant to happen to me?"

There are a number of reasons this happens to a person. I didn't need Diann to go through the list, because I knew a lot of them already and I already figured out for myself that this was meant to happen to me, so it's fine and I'm okay with it.

Diann said that anorexia has been around since the dark ages but has only been identified as an illness in the late 1800's. Back then, there was a different kind of pressure from society and different expectations from women especially, which supported a person's desire to starve themselves. A person depriving themselves from food, was seen as being closer to God. A person wouldn't let themselves experience any pleasures in life, be it through food, drink or even sexual. This meant they were less sinful. As women, back then, were more desirable to men, when they were curvaceous. So when they were less curvy they would automatically be less desirable which would result in less sexual activity.

Today, the illness, is still to a certain extent supported by society and what's expected of people. The media focuses on the beauty of being thin. Nobody can escape from the hype around diets, weight-loss and being the perfect size 8. Even modern technology can support eating disorders. Working in an office and not being physically active on a daily basis, can lead people to think they don't need 2000 calories a day to stay in good health.

Relating these 2 back to me, I can honestly say that I can see how true it is. I was always looking into different diets and reading certain books in the bookshop, to stay in shape. Whenever I would pick up a magazine, I would automatically look for the best slimming-options or the latest diets. The same goes for different exercise regimes. I still do it.. because I've done for so many years, I can't shake the habit overnight. I also lead myself to believe that the human body was made to hunt..that's right isn't it? So, that means it's not supposed to be sitting on it's backside all day and eating.. And the fact that most jobs, these days, require a lot of "resting on ones ass", I didn't see the point in eating that much. On tv I'd see documentaries on how fat the nation is getting..or the world in general, because of all the eating everyone does without any daily activeness. I didn't want that to be me and I wasn't going to be "one of them".

The pressures and expectations society has on us today, in the Western world, are different from other cultures. Different cultures have different views as to what a certain appearance represents. Some countries can see thinness as poverty and curvy people as rich..they obviously must have money to feed themselves. They see curves as something a person should be proud of. For example, I think it's in Indonesia, the women look so relaxed in their faces.. I read somewhere once, that this has to do with the stomach muscles. In the Western world, especially women, feel they have to suck in their tummy all the time when they wear tight clothes. Women get into the habit of never relaxing their stomach fully, which means they don't breath through their stomachs and go through life taking shorter breathes, and this causes more tension in their facial expressions...constantly. In other cultures however, women are proud of their stomach, and relax their muscles which means they breath through their stomach causing them to have a much more relaxed appearance.

This, again, is something I can relate to. I've always had an obsession with having a flat stomach. Why? I don't know, just because it would represent me being fit.. Doing 1000 belly crunches as often as possible was just a minor activity that supported my abs to stay strong. The benefits of having firm abs are more than not having firm abs (a stronger back and a better posture)..
That's why, at the moment, I'm having big problems with how my stomach is looking. I'm not happy with it and it's just getting bigger. If I could work on forming a healthy relationship with stomach muscles, then I'll be making a lot a progress. I don't know how really.

What is the point of looking into all this? Well, to put it bluntly, the pressure from society, the media and what someone's appearance has become to represent, makes me mad.. Why should anyone care? It's so hard to turn off to what we're surrounded by, because people live accordingly. But seeing this and turning off to it all, could cure so much.. I hope I'll be able to one day and just be whoever and look whatever way I want..