Working hard

It's not until you don't the vitally, mental normality and the physical energy that you realize just how much hard-work some people can be. It also continues to amaze me that people dealing with people and situations, each and every day are able to NOT feel drained or wiped-out by the energy-sucking personalities, habits, rituals and activities daily life brings with it.

For people who are strong and vital, a certain attitude and mental state of mind is required of you, in order to keep functioning normally whilst being surrounded by people who are hard-work. By hard work I mean: needing a certain amount of attention, having mood-swings like there's no tomorrow, being loud and in-your-face or having a stinking attitude about absolutely everything. For someone who isn't yet in full health, it can be even harder to deal with these people, especially if it's on a daily basis.

I never realized just how mentally draining they can be. Months and months ago, I would never think twice about wanting to be in someone's presence or not, because of the work they require. But now, the work I need myself to do, has become so tiring and draining. Not letting this person have an influence on my mood or state of mind, is a chore in itself. And that's not even considering the effect my mental state of mind or mood could have on this person. Other people can be just as prone to picking up bad vibes coming from me as I am from them. And living or being in harmony together needs input from both parties.

Anyway, I would always be able to deal with everyone and the people who I now see as hard-work, I used to think of as challenging and invigorating. The way they would "be" in life, would get me thinking and analyzing. I felt strong and could deal with anything and didn't feel the energy being sucked out me by just being in the same room as them. There's a world of difference, between how positive I would still be after being in contact with these people.

Diann once said that when you know that a certain event, a certain activity or a certain person can trigger different things inside of you, bringing you stress or pressurizing you in some sort of way, it can help if you mentally gear yourself up as a method of protection, before dealing with whatever it may be that can effect you in some way, be it good or bad. It's like preparing yourself for a feeling that you've felt before. This can not only help when dealing with certain events or activities but it can also help when you are around a particular person. Being aware that this can happen, and putting yourself in that certain place in your mind can prevent that feeling of either agitation, depression, annoyance or tiredness to happen whilst being in the same environment as this person. The feeling might come up the moment they walk into the room. The feeling might come up afterwards, once you are alone and thinking about what has just happened.

My family, around me day in day out, don't require hard-work. Only occasionally. It's part of normal, daily life. Everybody's mood changes like the weather. Some people's mood changes more than others. Some people are more vulnerable to other people's sorrow or depression or happiness and positivity. My family have taken on my moods and never (to my knowledge) let it effect them in a negative way. They are strong and able to cope with a quiet me, a grumpy me, a sad me, an angry me and sometimes a happy me.. Whatever kind of me, it's not a problem because they are able to be in that place in their minds, without much effort, for it not to spark off certain feelings. They are able to get on with their lives.

But for me, however.. it's seems different. Someones mood can set my mood off. Maybe because I'm not always able to get myself in that particular place in my mind, where I can cope with ignorance, impatience or lack of respect. A tightness can arise and I just want to curl up, the moment I pick up a bad vibe. I don't want it around me. Because I either want to feel the same as this person or I want to help this person see the positive side of whatever it is that's bringing them down. But wanting to feel the same as they are feeling, brings me down and drains me and all I want to be is alone and rest. But on the other hand, trying to help them is just as draining. I'm not strong enough to bring them up again or to take on their problems..no matter how much I would love to.

If a person is hard-work or not, doesn't make them good or bad. It's just their personality and it makes them who they are. I used to hard-work. I think. Loud, in-your-face, maybe not even that nice a person to be around. It's hard to tell and you can never know how other people see you. You can try and think for them but everybody is different and therefore everybody has a different perception of people. Some people might say a person is very out-going.. But the same person could be thought of as withdrawn by the next person. It's all about the person you are and the person they are. Personalities are different with different views. These views are exactly what they are.. views, opinions and mostly judged by how one person sees themselves at that point in their life. We use ourselves as the "norm".

At this moment in time, I'm not really that able to deal with certain people. I never saw them as hard-work, but right now, I do and it's purely because of my own state of mind and my own ability to deal with life. I see Holland as a busy place. I never used to and it was never a problem. But now it is and that's mainly down to the fact that I'm not strong enough to live at the fast pace of life.

So what I'm getting at is that the stronger I get, the more I'll be capable of dealing with challenging people. I'll want to help them and I'll be positive and hopefully spark something within them that will give them that great feeling of loving life, a feeling that has become so familiar to me but that I'm not yet able to express to the world. I'll might enjoy being in Holland, if and when I decide to go back, because I might love to live at high-speed again. Energy-draining people, countries, activities and events aren't good or bad, right or wrong.. It's not a fact but it's an opinion. It's tells me, just how much I'm able to deal with at this moment and how much stress my head can handle. It will change because my energy levels will change.

People change according to what is going on in their lives. Opinions and needs change and going with it is to embrace the changes, accept the changes and be happy to see them for what they are and accept loved-ones too as they change and as they are just like they accept you as you change and as you are.