Needed Needles

Last week, when I went to acupuncture, I got more needles stuck into me than I've ever had. Mr. Acupuncturist put some in my chest as well, to remove some of the heaviness and pressure that can get stuck from time to time. I had been feeling it quite a lot last week. But ever since then, I have only had 1 or 2 short moments, when that feeling arose on my heart. He warned me that I might get emotional, as some issues or past memories might come to the surface. He said not to fight it, but just to let them be. I'm not to look for anything, because if there's anything there it will present itself. This was last week Thursday. From Friday onwards it was all go go go. And I was feeling so good, I wasn't an emotional wreck and nothing seemed to be playing on my mind. First of all, when he warned me, I was wary that it might make the weekend harder than it was going to be. But I don't feel like it effected me, not in a bad way anyhow.

The only feeling I could probably relate to the treatment I had last week, was on Sunday night, when the most stressful day was over and the weekend was coming to an end, I lay in the strange bed (not feeling out of place) and could literally feel my heart lifting. I hadn't been drinking so I can't blame it on being tipsy.. But it was a weird sensation. I was almost floating and there wasn't a problem in my world, even whilst being surrounded by sorrow. My whole core just became so light and alive at the same time; almost numb but bubbling at the same time. It was so nice. Then every little noise that came from outside, shook my centre. It was like the extra life inside of me, that gets fed so much vitality as often as possible, was getting a kick up the backside, with every sound.

It's strange to put it into words, and maybe even selfish that I was feeling so fine, but everything was great. Maybe it was the effect of the treatment from Mr. Acupuncturist 3 days earlier. Maybe it was just a relief that everything had gone so well. Maybe it was me getting an extra boost. Maybe I was calming down and that's when I only became aware of this lighthearted feeling, which was a glorious one. It kept me awake for quite a while, because it was a little freaky..not that it mattered.

I've also been taking different herbs, for that feeling of having a heavy heart, and it could have helped lift it too. Sometimes it's hard to tell if it all makes a difference, because I don't know what it would be like if I wasn't taking the herbs or if I wasn't getting the treatment. That's the same with everything I suppose. But being open to taking all these feelings on board and wanting to get the most out of every little vibe, sensation or energy release probably helps a lot. If the mind is open to embracing all opportunities and possibilities that could present themselves, then I won't be scared or it won't shut down, with or without me wanting it to.

Todays treatment was longer than last weeks, but with less needles. We had a great chat and he said that he can actually see my confidence growing each week, as I come in. I told him about the feeling I had on Sunday night, and he said that it was down to the new herbs and the treatment of last week. But sometimes it wrecks my head because I don't know if it's really all me..the sense of fun that I have been feeling. Is it real? Would I have it if I wasn't having the acupuncture? I guess I'll never know. If the herbs and treatment are working to get my balance back in to my body and mind, and I become more and more myself, then surely it is real? Surely the acupuncture is mainly to speed things along and not make me into somebody I'm not? Surely I'm not a fake, and I won't fall and crumble once I stop going? Surely it's all natural?

Well, I do know that it does feel real and I don't feel like a fake. I also know that the herbs are natural and that acupuncture was one of the many things that has saved me. So for that, I can't really doubt that it could be making me into somebody I'm not. Because by just being, I know that nothing is forced. That's also something he said to me..just keep on "being" and everything will continue to fall into place. And he's right. "Being" seems to still be the key to good health and it really is the most used word in the English language, mainly in combination with other words, but using it as just one word, can be far more appealing at times.