Telling the world.. 2

So as soon as I had told Ma and Diann about Australia, it was also time I started going for walks and doing yoga again. Each week since then, I've been getting stronger and happier and more full of life. Absolutely everything has been slotting into place.. It started with work giving me the "all-clear" to quit, then moving out of my room. Then the weekend in Holland feeling so great, then my visa being approved, then financially everything falling on it's feet, then seeing Shellie and Kate and coming back to life whilst being away from home, then being able to go for a night-out and have only 3 hours sleep and still be full of life, then going for 2 weeks without seeing Diann and feeling great. I honestly feel that every week, either mentally, physically, emotionally, or practically, everything has been coming together.. and it's all the reassurance I need that I'm doing what I need to do, right now.

I reckon it's because of how I've approached most things. I haven't really stressed (apart from telling work) too much about everything coming together. Every step, every decision, I made and didn't worry about the outcome. I had to detach myself and feel confident that things would work in my favour. I was convinced that if something was going to go wrong, then it would be okay and it obviously wasn't my time to go back to Oz. But, so far, nothing has been stopping me from making my plans. Maybe I'm jinxing it by putting it on my blog right now, but I figure if something does go wrong between now and my leaving, then it just wasn't meant to be. Yeah, I'd be sad, but there's a reason for everything. For now though, all is going well, and I'll be going back to Oz.

Everyone has been so amazed at how well I've been doing the past weeks, and maybe shocked that it's all been moving along so quickly. Now, everyone might understand why..and it's all because of Australia. Otherwise I wouldn't have had a reason to push myself, just a little bit each week. I would have easily stuck to being "in recovery" and continued to feel down and alone. But there's no reason for me to be like that anymore. I don't want to and I can't be either.

I only started telling people a week and a half ago. And the more I say it, the better it feels. I no longer see why I shouldn't tell people, because if I'm going to go then there's nothing to hide from anybody..right? right! So the past 2 weeks, it's no longer just something I would love to do again and it's no longer a place I dream about. But it's something that I'm going to try so hard to do and I'm going to make it happen.

Telling people about it also shows everyone just how good I'm feeling because not only am I able to talk about my future, about Oz and about me being recovered, but also that the timing is right and that I'm not ashamed to say it. It's a sign that I'm stronger than I've ever been and that I'm delighted with it all. If I hadn't made this decision, I feel like I wouldn't be doing half as good as I am right now. However I'll never know that for sure.. But it's irrelevant because I did make the decision to go and I'm delighted!
......