It's all Pretend

Faking it.. and Pretending..

Resting and sitting down
Doing nothing and listening to my body

In order to do this
I need to be so strong
But it's not always easy
It can be the hardest thing
It can be so unnatural
It can be so punishing

In order to do this
I sometimes must pretend
Switch off Anna's nagging voice
Not listen to what she wants
Not listen to her beliefs
Not listen to her needs

But can I not just do what I like?
Because pretending is fake
I'm being a person that I'm not
If I had my way I'd walk
If I had my way I'd run
If I had my way I'd live

But I cannot do what I like!
Because Anna has put me here
And my body is not able
So I cannot walk
So I cannot run
So I cannot live

ADVICE: On bad days you must try to "Fake it" Niamh!

"Faking it" is not being real!
Or am I changing my beliefs?
I used to always believe in Anna..
Who now has made me ill
Who now is a bully
Who now is my nightmare

I'm not acting the way Anna wants
I'm pretending she isn't there
Switching her off in my head
This doesn't mean I'm dishonest
This doesn't mean I'm fake
This means I'm adjusting my beliefs