Laughter and smiles

A chuckle, a laugh, a giggle, a smile
Something I haven't seemed to do for a while
Everyone does it, day in, day out
But I just always have a constant pout

A roar of laughter, that makes your stomach hurt
Such a glorious feeling, forgetting the dirt
It awakens your senses and switches you on
Relieves the stress and the worries are gone

I love to laugh, but it's something I can't allow
I used to smile and laugh, but look at me now
Missing it so much but there's something that's blocking
A sense of humor inside and emotions that are shocking

Laugh until I cry and tears are expressing joy
Just let go and play with "humor" as it were a toy
Something I never appreciated or saw as being unique
It's now such a treasure, such a gifted streak

Like so many things I'm longing to regain
Smiles will soon fill the spots that are now pain
A chuckle, a laugh, a giggle, a smile
When I can do this without guilt, I'll have gone the extra mile..