A hug for you

I want to hug you
And tell you I care,
I want to show you
So you'll be aware,
I want to tell you
Just how much you mean,
I want to remind you
That it isn't a dream.

I can't speak outloud
Or express it in any way,
I can't say you're special
But I want to everyday,
I can't give you a hug
Or show a happy thought,
I can't as I don't deserve
And it will make me distraught.

I'm not allowed to hug you
So please just let me be,
I'm not allowed to show you
How important you are to me,
I'm not allowed to tell you
So what am I to do, I don't know,
When I'm not allowed to remind you
Or put my "caring for you" on show?