Misconception of my Reflection

Looking in the mirror, what do I see
A person looking back, it must be me
Is it real or should I not trust my eyes?
Am I able to switch off this feeling of despise?
New curves show that it's all going so well
If I'm happy or not, the curves will never tell
A healthy body is what I want to feel
But the reflection I see, will it be real?
How I would love to say, I hate every curve
But I won't lie as it hits a sensitive nerve
I can't say I love and I can say I hate
The food is working and will determine my fate
What will I weigh, when will the gaining stop?
I can't predict the future but won't let it drop
Taking in my reflection as I think about food
And tell myself that shallowness is so so rude
It enters my body, it's the choice I've made
I've been eating myself out of my mental shade
I convince myself of the good I'm doing
And I feel the energy that is slowly stewing
The mirror can tell me exactly what I want to believe
Be it good or bad, my body is will still receive
It keeps on going, there's no stopping it now
The kilo's will appear and Fay will take a bow
No matter what Anna says, when I see more bumps
I'll slowly get fitter and rise from the dumps
What I tell myself, is what I'll make come true
So I'm not fat but becoming the vibrant colour blue
As my clothes get tighter and my strength grows
I ignore Anna telling me that I'm ugly and it shows
This isn't the truth, she is telling me lies
So I look in the mirror and I see Fay in disguise
She has to be stronger and show me what's what
If I listen carefully, I'll remember what I once forgot
Reminding myself, It's insignificant what I weigh
I shouldn't care or take notice of what others say
A beautiful reflection or the image I'd love to own
But what is beauty, it's not a fact so it's unknown
Who determines what's beauty and what's not?
The same person who said my happiness should remain a dot
It's all me, It's all my own thoughts and views
They should drastically change, and this is old news
It's all wrong as my reflection supports my thought
Saying it's all bad as Anna makes me feel distraught
I can't trust it anymore and have to let it go
Fay has to take over the stage and steel this show
Will I avoid the mirror and forget about it all
But I don't want to run and I don't want to fall
Choosing to make the changes means facing the fact
That I'm not meant to be skinny if my health is intact
I have to focus on health instead of skin and bones
And cherish the kilo's and block out Anna's moans
This has to be done to finally breathe freely and embrace
So putting on weight should feel like I'm winning this race...