Thursday morning 27-11-08

It's still Thursday morning. I really should start getting ready, but I'm fine sitting here behind the computer for another short while.

I went to acupuncture yesterday. All was good and fine. He told me how well I was looking, even though I nearly fell asleep in the waiting room and felt like somebody would have been able to sweep the floor with me..that's besides the point and he insisted that I was looking better.. He can see the difference every week and my face is filling out more and more. He was delighted with himself and with me, well probably more with me, as I'm doing the eating, not him.. I thanked him, and didn't dwell on it. It doesn't matter anymore what people think or say because of course everyone sees a difference and of course they want to tell me, so that's fine. Even I can see the difference (I feel weird writing it..but sure, what the heck..).

When I look in the mirror I can see it too. My face, is turning back to normal again. The "glow" Mr. Acupuncturist has been seeing each week..I've actually been FEELING it as well.. Literally my cheeks sometimes glow and burn up, for no reason whatsoever. That freaked me out the first time fews times it happened, but I told myself that it's a good sign and it's healthy. It shows that food does really pay off (I knew this, of course, but actually seeing it makes it more real). My body is absorbing more and more nutrition from all the good foods, that it's showing in my face. Even when I laugh, I don't feel like my cheeks are going to break. My cheeks don't feel fragile and lifeless anymore. They used to feel like that. Whenever I would smile or laugh (not that that happened a lot) they would feel so empty because there was no fat or muscle to make smiling come naturally and to feel easy. I never realized this until a few weeks ago.

I remember back in July, when I hadn't an ounce of fat anywhere, that my body was taking all the fat out of my face. There was no where else for my body to get it from. It was a last resort. I remember how that felt. Looking back, it was an awful feeling but I loved it, because I've always hated having a full face with chubby cheeks. I can't describe how much I hated myself for my fat face. But now they are back, and there now a part of me, the healthy Niamh, apart of Fay. It's just the way it is. I accept my chubby cheeks now, and if nobody else wants to accept me with a full chubby face, then that's there lose.

Anyhow, back to acupuncture. I was telling him about the weekend ahead and he gave me different herbs. Last week I was taking ones without ginseng. The week before, with ginseng. Ginseng gives an energy boost and I felt the difference between the two different herbs, even though he didn't tell me they were different. 2 weeks ago, was the week I was overwhelmed with positiveness and energy. Last week, not so much. He was impressed that I had picked up on the difference. It means my body is taking really well to the herbs. This week he has given me the herbs with ginseng again, seeing as though I'm going to Holland. My body should pick up a slight energy boost, which should see me through the weekend. It sounds like he has me taking drugs. But that's not what they are. They're Chinese medicine, that should lift my spirits. So I started taking them yesterday and I'll be noticing if they work as well as they did, 2 weeks ago.

The treatment itself, was so nice. He left me on the treatment table for longer than he usually would. He said that I needed a little more time to chill-out. It was the most relaxing hour I've had during acupuncture in a few weeks. So nice, floaty, tingly and numb. Daydreaming and relaxing as much as I could. It was a glorious feeling.
It's so nice that he totally tunes in to what's going on in my life and how I'm feeling and moving either forwards or backwards. I suppose that's the whole point of the treatment, or else it wouldn't work..

Right, I'm going to go now.. I have some eating to do, before the dreaded journey. It will be one step at a time, and Sean is there so I won't be alone.. All should be well. See you in Holland..