Keeping the peace

Calm and quiet and letting nothing inside to upset
Trying to focus and see this feeling as my net
A net that will catch me when I fall, slip or slide
If focus and peace move on or decide to hide..

As easy as it sounds, it's never ever the case
The thoughts will try to manifest and erase
Any tranquility or easiness I come across
They'll always try to control and be my boss..

Does it feel easy or does it feel strange
Can I just enjoy it and adjust to the change
The change is will slowly creeping up on me
As I accept what has happened and try to be free..

I should deserve this peace, this quiet, this ease
After dealing with addiction that will continue tease
I can feel fine and deal with life as I can
And not dwell on the past and be happy that I am..

Maybe to create a my own place to protect me still
As I have no idea if I can handle excitement or thrill
Will I get ahead of myself which might set me back
Or can I teach myself to live without feeling black..

Is life going to be like walking on the shells of an egg
As Anna will remain apart and she might continue to beg
Will it die down and will I feel happy she gone
And will I not forever have to question what's wrong..

Going about a daily life feeling focused with energy
Will that still give me the ability to feel natural ecstasy?
Can I run again and not have to ask myself why
Without the feeling that I'm trying living a lie..

I'll never run for the wrong reason or goal
All I want is strength and health and a happy soul
As I try to listen, feel, be and learn
I can focus on the fire inside myself to constantly burn..