Yoga & Acupuncture

It's Wednesday morning and I can't remember that last time I've had such filled days whilst being here in Arklow. It's been kind of manic in a way, but not really. I've been doing alot but not overdoing it at the same time.

Monday night I had my first yoga class. I signed up for it last week. I've wanted to start it again, for months now, but every time I was tempted, it was too much too soon. Just like the walking, I'd have been doing it for the wrong reasons and I wouldn't have had the energy to get through a whole class. But last week, I thought that I had to give it a go. If I don't try then I'll never know.

It's in Arklow on a Monday evening, for an hour and a quarter. The yoga teacher is nice, but I think she was feeling uncomfortable, once I'd filled out the medical form saying that I'm recovering from an eating disorder. I didn't know what was best to fill in. But I had to be honest, because I had to sign it too. I don't know how official it was, but anyhow. I put it down and she didn't really speak to me that much after that or she didn't look at me either.. But that's her problem. Not mine. I was there to do yoga, and not to make her feel better or worse.

I was of course wary if I'd have the energy to get through a class. But not only that, just being amongst strangers and chatting to them and doing something by myself, without my head feeling fuzzy or without me automatically zoning-out, which is what usually would happen whenever I'd attempt doing anything outside the house, with or without anybody by my side, "holding my hand" and with whom I feel safe. So that in itself made it more of a challenge, without taking the yoga and my physical condition into consideration.

It was really good though. I didn't feel paranoid, even if the teacher did. I didn't feel uncomfortable. I didn't feel exhausted. I didn't feel like hanging my head in shame. Nothing like that. If anything, it felt like the most normal thing in the world for me to be doing at that moment. It took no effort whatsoever and I wasn't tired either. The centering, the warming up, the flexing and stretching, the poses and the cooling down, was all really familiar to me. I used to do it out of book for a year or so. I didn't need any assistance. It all came naturally and I even had visions of me giving the class instead of her.. thinking I'd do a better job..haha..

So that was Monday, after going to Diann in the morning, walking along the key in Wexford, writing all afternoon and then yoga and still waking up yesterday morning at the crack of dawn. Yesterday I went for a walk too and then to acupuncture. It was really nice, except the fact that he left on the table for a long while, and Ma waiting for me out in the car, and I could actually feel her stressing out, because I was so late and her schedule was being thrown "off-course". Not to worry Ma ;)
That did put me off a little. But there was nothing I could do.. I was pinned to the table, buzzing like a mad-one with my arms and legs feeling numb and my head being heavy.. So I had to just lie there and try to forget about the time, because otherwise it tends to defeat the whole purpose of the treatment. Every needle that was stuck in to me, lifted me off the table nearly today. My "chi" (or energy, flow, vibe or whatever name you can give it) is really coming along, or so Mr. Acupuncturist said: "You're getting stronger baby".. Don't you "baby" me!! A no, that wans't my response of course, I just felt excited that I'm responding to the needles so well even though the buzzing can feel like little electric shocks.. A sign that I'm alive..